We interview Robert Middleton who just released a new ebook called “The Unstuck Process”. Robert is a marketing coach, consultant, speaker, writer, and designer, and is also the owner of Action Plan Marketing, which has helped thousands of people to really learn marketing without hype using a very simple and effective system for attracting more clients.
What he’s talking to us about today is really fascinating. It’s his new book called “The Unstuck Process” which really gets at how to get yourself unstuck in your marketing so that you actually implement the things you need to implement to get your business going.
I’m a marketing coach for independent professionals, and I’ve worked with them for many, many, years, and something I’d noticed over and over again is people would get stuck in their marketing. That is, they’d have a plan. They’d want to do something. They’d want to make those follow-up calls. They’d want to get that article written and it took forever, or sometimes never. Some people would take my instructions, my step by step coaching, and make it happen, and some would just stay stuck.
I went on search, a quest, you might say, of something that would help people get unstuck, and in 2003, I came up with the work of Byron Katie. I started to use that process with my clients and myself, and we all started to have breakthroughs. That was the genesis of this process and then over the years I’ve tweaked that process specifically for independent professionals who are stuck in their business or their marketing.
The process is one of inquiry. We get stuck or we avoid doing things, or we feel bad about stuff, or we’re in resistance a lot – I’m sure everybody can relate to that. I’m resisting doing X, and sometimes we do it, but we hate doing it. “Oh, I do my marketing, but I hate it.” How the process works is you start to inquire into your thinking and your behavior. The first questions in the process are, “What are you avoiding, or where are you stuck? What are you feeling about that? I mean what are the actual feelings in your body?” You start to become aware. It’s a self-awareness process.
Next is, what are all the things that you’re doing or avoiding when you’re in that stuckness? I call it stuck behavior, or avoidance behavior. You become aware of that, and then you look at, well is this avoidance, or is this really working for me? Then it gets down to, well, what would you have to believe to stay stuck like that, to keep avoiding things like that? That’s really where it hinges on because we usually have a belief that goes something like this – there’s a number of them – “I don’t have time.” “I can’t get around to it” .” I’m not good at this anyway.” “I’m not the marketing type.” “I’ll never be good at writing.” Get the idea?
This applies more to just people who are stuck in their marketing – a lot of people are stuck in a life, or in a job, or in a career, or in a situation that they don’t really like. Anything that you want to do, but you’re not doing. That’s the first sign.
There’s a lot of different signs. The other is that you’re just feeling yucky about something. It’s like, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m just feeling crummy,” and then you can trace all these things back to some, what I call limiting, constricting, fearful, belief, like the ones I mentioned. Then you inquire further into that – is that belief true? Is that belief really working for you? What is the cost of holding on to that belief?
Perhaps the most pivotal question in the process is, what is the payoff of holding onto that belief? That is, what are you getting out of believing fearful beliefs? That’s an interesting one because, for instance – making follow-up calls – I notice that self-employed people know they need to make follow-up calls. They go to a networking event. They collect all these cards, and then they sit on their desks forever and they don’t reach out. Why don’t they reach out? Because they’re afraid, they’re afraid of being rejected.
The cost of that is obviously, I don’t get to connect with these people. I don’t get new business, nothing happens. The payoff is, we get to stay comfortable. That’s the primary payoff in being stuck or avoiding things. We get to be comfortable. We get to maintain the status quo of what we’ve already done, and in corollary to that is we get to avoid any pain or discomfort, i.e., something like rejection, or people won’t like it, or they’ll think you’re just bothering them, or they’ll think that you’re using hype, or all that kind of stuff.
And sometimes people get stuck because they’re afraid of what will happen if they actually succeed. Self-sabotaging behavior is all too common. I just had somebody do the Kindle for my ebook, and she did a good job, and then she disappeared. I said, I’d like to pay you. No response. Another email, I’d like to do the next version and pay you for that. No response. I don’t know, maybe she fell off a truck or something, but, some people just can’t take success. It’s too uncomfortable to be successful, and so they sabotage themselves.
You have to get to the stage where you know you need help, and that there is somebody to go to to get that help. The people into this kind of thing are usually into some kind of self-help. They’re looking for something. They realize that they sabotage themselves. A lot of the clients I get, they say, “Help me with marketing, Robert. I just can’t count on myself to do it.” They get to a place of realization – you have to be someone that wants to accomplish something.
Some people just don’t care anymore. They have given up on life. You know the saying, “Life is hard and then you die”? A lot of people have that as their primary philosophy in life. This process is not for them, they’ll never use it. It’s for someone who’s motivated to achieve something internally or externally. To make something of themselves, to fulfill a dream, whatever it might be, but they find that all they seem to meet with is resistance. You know the situation where you think of a good idea and you get excited about it for a while, but then as the good idea arises in our awareness, the negative thoughts arise in our awareness almost exactly at the same time. Ever notice that?
It’s like, “Oh, I’d really like to do that project and get these people together, but that will take so long, and I don’t know if I can afford that, and maybe if I do that, they’ll think blah, blah, blah.” I mean they just seem to come together. If you notice that kind of thing going on, how do you get rid of that?
You get rid of it by telling the truth about what’s really going on about that negative self-talk, and the process simply leads you step by step through those 12 questions. All you have to do is ask the 12 questions and answer them honestly, and at the end of it, you start to see that that limiting, constrictive, fearful belief is just made up. It’s a phantom. It’s not real.
Robert is offering a free copy of his new book – The Unstuck Process – to Paycheck To Passion subscribers – Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and go to theunstuckprocess.com and claim your free copy. Let us know how you get on with the 12 steps! We’d love to hear what happened when you got “unstuck”!
Want to get a free audiobook version of the book recommended by this week’s guest? Click here to download it.
For 30 years as the owner of Action Plan Marketing, Robert has helped thousands of Independent Professionals learn the art of marketing without hype with his simple and effective systems for attracting more clients.
Robert is the author of the online bestseller, the InfoGuru Marketing Manual, The WebSite ToolKit, and Marketing Ball. He runs the membership site, The More Clients Club, and sends out his eZine, More Clients, to over 35,000 subscribers each week. Robert holds an intensive 9-month marketing programs, The Marketing Action Group, and conducts two-day marketing workshops each year, in addition to working with private clients.
His favorite work is helping clients get unstuck from limiting and fearful beliefs that hold their marketing back. He uses his Unstuck Process, based on the Work of Byron Katie, since 2003.
Robert has studied, personal growth, transformation, spirituality and non-duality since he was 18 years. Old. From 1974 to 1978 he lived on a community studying the work of G.I. Grudjieff. From 1979 to the early nineties he participated in est and the Landmark Forum.
Since 1995 Robert has studied many spiritual teachers including Yogananda, Rupert Spira, Scott Kiloby, and Arjuna Ardagh. He integrates the ideas in these teachings to help his clients break through limitations and fears that hold them back from living a fuller life and having a more fulfilling and successful business.
Robert says, “The most practical thing in the world is learning how to get past limiting and fearful beliefs and mindsets. When you do, vast possibilities open up to you that were simply not available to you before. What you find buried beneath all this mental garbage is authentic expression, natural enthusiasm and endless creativity and energy.”
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