Today we’re interviewing Lisa Marie Jenkins, who wrote “Wake Up Beauty, It’s Not About The Prince.” Lisa was very successful in corporate, went through a divorce, and discovered that in business she was like power tiger person. In her home life, though, she had a completely different role. Her mission in life is to help women merge those two people and become the powerful people they are, both in business and in their personal life. She shares some really good pointers on how to do that and how to start finding your passion and your brilliance and follow it in your life.
Meredith: Lisa, I really liked the subtitle of your book, “The Manual For the Disempowered and Dissatisfied Woman Who Yearns For Something More.” I know so many women who are in that predicament. Tell us a little bit about your story of dissatisfaction and how you created something more.
Lisa Marie: Absolutely. It was quite a journey, and I think it is a journey for anyone. It’s a rare occasion that somebody just flips a switch and they transition. For me, it started when I was married and had a loyal husband. I wouldn’t say I was madly in love, but I had a good husband, a loyal husband, and two beautiful healthy children. I had a career that was skyrocketing, beautiful home, cars, living the American
Dream, right? But why was I miserable? What was going on? There was just something missing. I have it all. I’ve accomplished the American dream and that’s what everyone said to do, but I’m not happy. Why?
That was the initiation into a tough journey for me in which I got divorced and went through three very dysfunctional relationships over several years. The pain of that launched me into searching, which started with more traditional therapy and becoming self-aware. I would say prior to that I had no awareness. I looked outside. My unconscious thoughts were ruling me and driving me. From there, it lead me more to a deep spiritual journey.
The title of “Wake Up Beauty, It’s Not About The Prince” comes from debunking the myth that we’ve been told for years, this big fat lie, that when the princess gets kissed by the prince, she wakes up to her. But in fact, she goes to sleep. She goes to sleep on herself and her own passion and purpose and worth. Oftentimes, we’re conditioned that when we find romantic love, we then become fully passionate and empowered, when in fact we’re looking again for something outside of ourselves instead of going inward to ignite that passion. People can spend a lifetime continually looking outside themselves, for more money, a bigger job, more power, more possessions, whatever those things are. It can be an endless search.
I feel blessed that I was literally brought to my knees through that transition of getting divorced and then the other relationships whereI thought they were going to provide it to me. The other thing that happened for me, which really launched me into leaving corporate America and launching my own consulting business, was I was really powerful in business and very confident. I would just run through any door that opened for me. I would bite off more than I could chew, and I’d say, “I’ll figure it out as I go along.”
But I was a complete opposite when it came to the romantic relationship. I allowed myself to be powerless, because I had this belief that I had been carrying with me since my father died in my childhood that I was not okay without a man. I was not whole. I was not good enough if I didn’t have a partner at my side, that somehow that defined me still. It was a very deep-rooted subconscious thought. I began to realize there are lots of really powerful businesswomen in the world, yet they still have this unconscious belief that they’re not okay with a man, that they can’t be whole, and they can’t be fulfilled without that. My gift to women is helping them uncover that and realize that YOU are actually the one you’ve always been waiting for, and that a partner can never be any more than your sprinkles on top.
I always knew that I wanted to do something that had to do with supporting women, and I really saw that women were perfectly poised now to start making a shift in both business and in politics, because we’re at a place now in human evolution where I think we need more heart-led leadership. We’ve got to get out of the purely masculine way, and I don’t mean men. I mean a masculine way, meaning competitive, linear, analytical, logical, as opposed to leading from the heart and that the bottom line means more than just profit. The bottom line includes creating impact for the greater good and helping people find their strengths and feel valued and excited about what they’re doing in the workplace.
I always had that in the back of my mind. It took me a while to formulate and define it, but most importantly, I think I had to heal that within me before I could begin teaching to others. I think what we learn and what we heal within ourselves is actually what we were meant to teach to others, because you only needed to be a step or two ahead of somebody to mentor somebody. That’s the other piece. We need to get away from this authoritative, expert-type of learning, because we really learn best from our peers when we articulate it within ourselves and can relate to somebody else having that experience.
For me, though, what happened in that transition was I got to a point where I wasn’t driven any longer in corporate. I wasn’t excited about the next step. It wasn’t feeding me. It wasn’t fueling me. But in my job, I got a lot of formal consulting presentation training, so I was out in the world. In my last role at Cisco, I was doing a lot of presentations, big presentations, boardroom presentations. I realized that I loved that. I loved connecting with people and I loved facilitating conversations. I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could do this, what I’m so passionate about, and not so much about Voice over IP and wireless technology and switches? What if I really got to speak from my heart and get in front of people and facilitated communicating with others?”
That kind of prompted it, and I just had a lot of sign posts that kept saying, “Go! Go!” Then from there,
someone said, “Well, you got to have a book. If you want to start speaking and you want get into that world, you’ve got to have a book for credibility.” I had been thinking about writing a book for a long time, and that gave me the fuel I needed to develop the discipline to sit down and actually do it.
My client is really corporate America – everything that we’re talking about. I want to help large corporate companies with their emerging women leaders get that so we start moving into that place of creativity and passion away from the toxicity of that more authoritative hierarchy dictator in corporate. A company that does it so well is Zappos.com. I don’t know if you know much about them, but it’s a completely different culture than the typical Fortune 500 company that you see out there and that I was always ingrained with. So for me, I realized, “Oh, this is what I’m meant to do,” because I spent over 23 years in that corporate America environment. Empowering women and getting women to find their voice and learn to speak their truth and ask for what they want is a big piece for me, because that’s what I had to learn to do on the personal side.
Again, I would have to say that my client is more corporate America, where we can start instilling that creativity and passion so we don’t go through the people who are dissatisfied and in a toxic environment or are like, “I’m just going through the motions in this corporate job. Yeah, I love my paycheck, but I also know I’m not safe.” What if you can actually instill creativity and passion into the workplace by creating cultural changes? And I believe that women are the ones to make that shift in larger organizations.
I am a professional speaker, trainer, facilitator, and executive coach specializing in feminine leadership and a regular blog contributor to the Huffington Post.
Prior to launching my consulting business, I spent over 20 years in senior sales and marketing roles at hi-tech Fortune 500 companies like Cisco and Xerox. During my career:
~ I was a multiple time president’s club award winner
~ received several “best presentation” accolades at industry conferences
~ and was CRN Magazine “Women of the Channel 2012”
Though I truly enjoyed many aspects of my work life in big companies and was very grateful for all it provided – there was something missing for me. Passion, purpose, and true connection were often hard to find in corporate life. Then came a pivotal point and I left my lucrative career to pursue my dream as a Speaker, Author, and Coach. I completed Life Coach Training, hold 200 hour yoga teacher certification, and published my first book on feminine leadership, “WAKE-UP BEAUTY! It’s Not About the Prince”
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